[SPEAKER_00] Hey, baby.
[SPEAKER_04] Fuck you Lester. You gonna let me in or what? Give me a minute. I was wondering when you'd show up. I was dead. Praise be
[SPEAKER_04] I guess you weren't very dead.
[SPEAKER_04] You need my help.
[SPEAKER_01] How do you know?
[SPEAKER_04] Because you came here.
[SPEAKER_04] Why else would you?
[SPEAKER_01] I haven't been a good friend for you, Lester.
[SPEAKER_01] I know that.
[SPEAKER_04] Then you're going to make it up to me by doing whatever I ask.
[SPEAKER_04] Or rather, I mean, I need something done, you need to know something, so why not help each other?
[SPEAKER_01] I gotta make some dough.
[SPEAKER_04] So you're back in the game?
[SPEAKER_01] I guess.
[SPEAKER_01] Look, Lester, about what happened before.
[SPEAKER_04] I know you never mentioned my name.
[SPEAKER_04] I know I'm not on any lists anywhere.
[SPEAKER_04] I know you never betrayed me.
[SPEAKER_04] As for you, you gotta figure that I never told anyone
[SPEAKER_04] that instead of gently decomposing in North Yankton,
[SPEAKER_04] you're angrily decomposing in Los Santos with a shrink
[SPEAKER_04] and a wife who don't love you no more.
[SPEAKER_00] Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01] Yeah, well, since you put it like that...
[SPEAKER_04] Hey, shut up a minute. I'm getting an iPhone.
[SPEAKER_04] alert that little college boy sack of shit phony fuck who jay norris yes that fuck is a lying
[SPEAKER_04] bastard i've read his fucking emails he's a fucking cheat i heard him say that he saved america what
[SPEAKER_04] by outsourcing all the jobs by selling us little bits of plastic restricted access shit well now
[SPEAKER_04] it's payback time you lying turd the hell are you talking about you are about to get that white
[SPEAKER_04] collar gig that you always dreamed of mikey
[SPEAKER_04] Here, take this fashionably retro weird-for-a-45-year-old man-but-I-cannot-let-go-of-the-1980s bag
[SPEAKER_04] and dress yourself up like a billionaire math genius with low-level Asperger's.
[SPEAKER_04] You better be ready for the minor glitch of your repulsive pseudo-messianic life.
[SPEAKER_01] Okay, Lester, get out of here!
[SPEAKER_05] Call me when you're ready.
[SPEAKER_04] We are about to put the Darwinism back in social Darwinism, and, brother, it is gonna be fun.
[SPEAKER_01] You fucking kidding me? I'm a bank robber!
[SPEAKER_01] Not a web designer.
[SPEAKER_04] So we'll go robbing soon.
[SPEAKER_04] I'll find something.
[SPEAKER_04] Just like the old days.
[SPEAKER_00] I love you.
[SPEAKER_00] You look good.
[SPEAKER_01] Ah, excuse me.
[SPEAKER_01] I got this interview at this tech company.
[SPEAKER_01] I'm thinking I need something, I don't know, geeky, youthful.
[SPEAKER_02] Lost your job and the world's moved on, huh?
[SPEAKER_02] That's too bad.
[SPEAKER_01] I didn't lose my job.
[SPEAKER_00] Of course.
[SPEAKER_02] Of course. Got too old, got outsourced. Same thing happened to my dad.
[SPEAKER_02] Now you gotta fit in with a different generation.
[SPEAKER_02] What about a vest and some cargo shorts?
[SPEAKER_01] Alright.
[SPEAKER_02] Dignity aside, I think that might just work.
[SPEAKER_02] Good luck at the interview.
[SPEAKER_02] Goodbye.
[SPEAKER_00] Michael?
[SPEAKER_01] I'm all dressed up. Now, you want to run me through this thing?
[SPEAKER_04] The prototype is somewhere in the Life Invader office. Find it and fit it with the device in your bag.
[SPEAKER_01] They just gonna let me in?
[SPEAKER_00] What?
[SPEAKER_04] Why wouldn't they, if you looked the part?
[SPEAKER_04] Hang around till someone opens the door and act entitled.
[SPEAKER_01] Fine.
[SPEAKER_00] Hell yeah.
[SPEAKER_00] Fuck it.
[SPEAKER_04] So, I'm heading up to my house.
[SPEAKER_00] I will run your sorry ass over.
[SPEAKER_03] Guess what?
[SPEAKER_03] Hey, hey, oh
[SPEAKER_01] great
[SPEAKER_05] Yeah, PMS pushing for more functionality
[SPEAKER_05] But we are maxed. I mean if anything we have to strip features
[SPEAKER_05] Especially if we plan on releasing a fully priced update a year later. Oh, you know, it's yeah. Well, you know, you gotta do it
[SPEAKER_05] to do you know i mean we're talking beta in q4 maybe q3 look milestones are one thing but when
[SPEAKER_05] design is changing its mind seemingly overnight there's not much you can do about it you know
[SPEAKER_01] what i'm saying my union allocated smoke breaks about up so wait a minute do i know you yeah i
[SPEAKER_05] think so i i t temp right yeah you know you gotta do something for me ah you gotta put it in a
[SPEAKER_05] ticket uh no i'd like to keep this one
[SPEAKER_05] of the database if you know what i mean i'm turning consultant when we release consulting
[SPEAKER_05] consultors you know a consultancy consultancy consultancy i'm kind of big on the conference
[SPEAKER_05] tour already hi oh hi chill out on the beanbag marcus will be right out
[SPEAKER_05] oh um i'm gonna take a normal chair i have a terrible back
[SPEAKER_05] Here you go. If you guys let me use the OS I requested, this wouldn't be a problem.
[SPEAKER_01] This is a filthy hard drive, bro.
[SPEAKER_01] Ah, got any antivirus software?
[SPEAKER_05] I think so. Behind this junk on the left. Clicked an NSFW link, bro. Bit me on the ass.
[SPEAKER_01] Yeah, not safe for work, huh? You know, my son's computer runs into the same kind of problems.
[SPEAKER_01] I'll close the pop-ups, see what I can do.
[SPEAKER_05] Your son codes? Start him early, bro.
[SPEAKER_05] You write your best stuff in your tweens.
[SPEAKER_05] After that, it's just a hack job.
[SPEAKER_05] Ugh, I need to write some product, Brohim. I'm feeling the itch.
[SPEAKER_01] Bear with me, all right?
[SPEAKER_05] Wow, your job is actually kind of stressful too, ain't it?
[SPEAKER_01] These hacker kids, always coming up with a new one.
[SPEAKER_01] way to screw the network in the ass. And we scan. There it goes. Might be why I get all
[SPEAKER_01] these migraines. Seriously, it might be why. And that should do it. Why don't you try and
[SPEAKER_01] keep things strictly safe for work from now on? Hey, have you seen the prototype in the
[SPEAKER_05] demo room? When Norris announces it at the keynote, minds are gonna blow.
[SPEAKER_00] Yes, they are.
[SPEAKER_01] Send me the...
[SPEAKER_04] Nice.
[SPEAKER_00] Nobody thought I was the problem.
[SPEAKER_03] Pathetic.
[SPEAKER_03] All right, do you want to get shipped to that tax-free blog in North Ontario?
[SPEAKER_05] Dude, when it blue screens again, you're my guy.
[SPEAKER_00] Bye.
[SPEAKER_04] Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.
[SPEAKER_00] Look back.
[SPEAKER_04] Come on, you're going to have to learn the footbag if you want to get a job here, okay?
[SPEAKER_04] Follow me.
[SPEAKER_04] Okay.
[SPEAKER_00] Oh!
[SPEAKER_03] Some a-hole drank my effing head milk!
[SPEAKER_00] There was a totally non-passive-aggressive mood on it!
[SPEAKER_04] Hold on, I'll buzz you out.
[SPEAKER_03] I was an idiot and I left at rush hour.
[SPEAKER_04] Hey, Michael.
[SPEAKER_04] Hold on, hold on.
[SPEAKER_00] Domed! I domed you!
[SPEAKER_01] Lester, the thing's in the prototype.
[SPEAKER_01] I'm going home to watch the keynote.
[SPEAKER_00] Teabag time, my friend!
[SPEAKER_01] Lester, did you hear me?
[SPEAKER_01] Are you playing that game?
[SPEAKER_04] Yeah, yeah, sorry. The phone is rigged.
[SPEAKER_04] What's your problem? You don't like shooters?
[SPEAKER_01] They're all the same.
[SPEAKER_01] Besides, you know me. I'm a movie guy.
[SPEAKER_01] Classic Vinewood.
[SPEAKER_04] Classic Vinewood ended 30 years ago.
[SPEAKER_04] Now it's just superheroes, romantic comedies, and remakes.
[SPEAKER_04] None of which interest me.
[SPEAKER_01] me hey i believe this country can still make interesting movies there's no better way to
[SPEAKER_01] define american life than a two-hour plot in which the hero looks good and defeats evil
[SPEAKER_04] ah whatever you say enjoy yesterday anyway just call the device after he's unveiled it
[SPEAKER_04] and then we'll talk
[SPEAKER_03] That show is amazing.
[SPEAKER_01] Oh my god, you guys are so lame!
[SPEAKER_01] No! I'm watching
[SPEAKER_00] Famer Shame!
[SPEAKER_00] No!
[SPEAKER_04] The most racist guy in America.
[SPEAKER_00] You all disgust me!
[SPEAKER_03] America loves you.
[SPEAKER_03] You are in the final.
[SPEAKER_03] Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr. Jay Norris to the stage!
[SPEAKER_03] Hey, this company has come a long way since we started it in my parents' pool house in East Carraway.
[SPEAKER_03] Today, you're about to witness a new phase.
[SPEAKER_03] Full-on, weapons-grade, red alert, world domination!
[SPEAKER_03] We have put a billion people's private data in the public domain, and we have milked every penny we could in the process.
[SPEAKER_03] We have one of the youngest workforces in the world,
[SPEAKER_03] an average age of only
[SPEAKER_03] 14.4 years. That's not just impressive. It's revolutionary!
[SPEAKER_03] Today, right here, we are about to make the next step.
[SPEAKER_03] Prepare to witness the future.
[SPEAKER_03] The Life Invader mobile device.
[SPEAKER_03] Yes, we've invented something no one else has ever thought of.
[SPEAKER_03] A small, personal, computerized device.
[SPEAKER_03] Now you're going to be able to stay docked 24-7 on the bus you can dock on the subway
[SPEAKER_03] Stay docked you can be docked at home and at the same time you're docking with some kids at the public pool
[SPEAKER_03] We went to the guys at fruit computers, and we told them we wanted to make our hardware as compatible as possible
[SPEAKER_03] But you know what they're not interested in
[SPEAKER_03] sharing their technology. So we went and made it compatible anyway. Now you can
[SPEAKER_03] dock your Life Invader to an iFood phone or any other device and it'll take all
[SPEAKER_03] the data off it and reformat it into Life Invader friendly information.
[SPEAKER_03] At around this point in my presentation, there was meant to be a call from my product team to introduce the device.
[SPEAKER_03] But we're experiencing some technical difficulties.
[SPEAKER_03] I hate to keep you waiting any longer, but trust me, it's worth it.
[SPEAKER_03] And don't worry, I will fire several people for this.
[SPEAKER_05] Even Laszlo would turn out the lot.
[SPEAKER_03] Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr. Jay Norris to the stage.
[SPEAKER_00] Hey.
[SPEAKER_03] This company has come a long way since we started it
[SPEAKER_03] in my parents' pool house in East Carraway.
[SPEAKER_03] Today, you're about to witness a new...
[SPEAKER_01] phase full-on weapons grade red alert world domination we have put a billion
[SPEAKER_03] people's private data in the public domain and we have milked every penny we
[SPEAKER_03] could in the process we have one of the youngest workforces in the world an
[SPEAKER_03] average age of only 14.4 years that's not just impressive it's revolution
[SPEAKER_03] Today, right here, we are about to make the next step.
[SPEAKER_03] Prepare to witness the future.
[SPEAKER_00] The Life Invader mobile device.
[SPEAKER_03] Yes, we've invented...
[SPEAKER_03] something no one else has ever thought of a small personal computerized device
[SPEAKER_05] now you're going to be able to stay docked 24 7. oh on the bus you can go on the subway whoa